All right, film snobs: this is not a drill. That would have been “The Core.” It’s an asteroid. And now it’s being turned into a script. Atari’s famed “Asteroids” property is set to be ported to the screen by Evan Spiliotopoulos, a man whose name I definitely had to copy/paste.
This from DarkHorizons.com
Evan Spiliotopoulos (“Snow White and the Huntsman”) will pen a new draft of the film adaptation of the late-’70s Atari video game “Asteroids” for Universal Pictures. The story for the film adaptation has been expanded to follow two estranged brothers that must team up to save Earth from an alien race. Matt Lopez (“The Sorcerer’s Apprentice”) originally worked on the script.
Now when they say, “The story has been expanded,” I figured that was a given. I mean, you’d need some form of plot unless you wanted to see John McAllister set the high score on an arcade cabinet over a course of three days. The idea of the two estranged brothers sounds like classic Hollywood producer-speak; Another brick in the foundation of a true Disasterpiece has been laid.
I can’t wait to see the posters on this. As a graphic designer, the idea of taking Asteroids seriously is mind-blowing, and I have no idea what they’ll come up with. Do I pity the advertising agency that handles this… or do I envy them the greatest challenge of their design careers?
If you’re not familiar with “Snow White and the Huntsman,” it’s an EPIC BATTLE MOVIE ADAPTATION OF SNOW WHITE STARRING KRISTEN STEWART. If they keep releasing them like this, Stephen, Brook and I will be out of a job.